a journey

As some of you may know Anthony and I have been trying to get pregnant for a few years now. And I want to share this journey with you because I know I'm not the only one that goes through this. You step into this journey thinking it should be a piece of cake right, people get pregnant so easily all the time planned or not. But this isn't the case for some and it now becomes on of your trials in you life; I mean I have a fairly good life, I grew up in a wonderful family, I have great health, I get by on life and never really had to experience true trials or turmoil. But we're all given trials to overcome as for now mine is INFERTILITY. And all the virtues I truly need to understand; PATIENCE, if you ask Anthony I'm not very patient when it comes to somethings, if I want something done I want it done now or always go go going ( being on time ). And I know "In God's time" is when it will happen, but after awhile you tend to think "what's he waiting for?, Aren't I living like I'm suppose to?" But we've also been going through alot and maybe it's not the best time to bring a little one into (bankruptcy, living with his parents, a possible move across country for a his job). With patience in "his timing" comes FAITH, Faith becomes a shaking thing in times of turmoil; in your partner, your God, and yourself. Doubt yourself or your partner thinking are you capable to conceive a child or get frustrated with God for not blessing you with a child. However a certain experience I had excerise these values; the night I met Anthony. I met Anthony on New Years Eve, and if you know Anthony's family they always spend that night at his Gma Surratts, but that year everyone was sick and he decided to come to out little New Years shin-dig. Anthony and I were both in a point of our lives where we weren't really concerned with the opposite sex, they were just 'drama' or not worth it, didn't apperciate us for who we are. But that night and the weeks to come we saw something in each other, possibility of our soulmate; for Anthony it was seeing me with his baby cousin, not afraid to embrace family, so within a month or two he was hooked; I'll admit it took me a little more time, and I was hesitant. But he always had a way to make me feel special when I was feeling down or there for me when I was sick and no matter how 'sassy' I was with him he never turned away; he accepted me through it all the good the bad and ugly. There I knew he was a keeper. And because of this experience and the way we found each other in this life I know God has his timing, when we allow "Jesus To Take The Wheel" he blesses us when we least expect it.
Though there's tears and frustration in our preparing for a family process, Yes it can be tough to hear everyone around getting pregnant and I may need to take a moment for myself, but don't get me wrong I'm happy for everyone around me that is progressing with their families. But I know well be blessed in our own way when its our time. Because each journey is different and special.
Prayers are appricated whether is to be blessed to get pregnant, patience, faith or peace, whatever blessing you feel fit.